brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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