I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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