I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
