We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's shark week go big or go home
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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