i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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