HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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