Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's blow job season.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
