I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
