Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
