....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
