I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
