so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
