Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
