im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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