it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
