My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
