We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
