You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
