dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
