I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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