I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
