what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
