Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
