i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
