I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Randomize
