We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
