I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
