She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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