One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
