Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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