6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
