I'm eating all of the evidence.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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