Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
