he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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