he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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