I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
