what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
