i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize