he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
