Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
