There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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