So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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