I hate all girls vehemently.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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