I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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