some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
