what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
