I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
