I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
