Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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