They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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