Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He better not be in your backpack
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
